...lady elaine, speed & maya rudolph!

Lyrics, as per usual:

...The sun goes down

The stars come out

And all that counts

Is here and now

My universe will never be the same

I'm glad you came...

The Wanted - Glad You Came ... one of my favorite workout songs!

So, last night was quite an adventure! Disclaimer: I am not a mean person, at all. I do not intend to offend in any way what so ever. The aforementioned is in impeccable shape and very inspiring, as she evoked imagery of an actual professional cyclist cruising hills in some kind of elite triathlon. I appreciate the skill of said instructor and I can only aspire to such physique.

That being said, I felt like I was in an episode of Saturday Night Live last night. It is not okay to be laughing (whether internally or externally) through an entire work out. But I could not help myself! I tried to keep it in because I did not want to offend or distract anyone in the class, but my thoughts were running rampant with hilarious imagery.

First, imagine a full grown version of Lady Elaine from Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

Second, Lady Elaine is in amazing shape and has, for lack of a better word, a great figure!
Third, This character is being played by Maya Rudolph in an SNL sketch.

Fourth, This character did immense amounts of either Cocaine or Speed IMMEDIATELY preceding said work out.

It was our first Wednesday night class without our beloved instructor. My first impression was that the chosen replacement would be a formidable candidate, considering the "intense" 90 minute class taught by said instructor on the weekend. I read the bio the gym posts on the wall and I was excited to give it a try.

Wednesday night at 630pm rolls around and I actually wind up walking in with the Wednesday night newbie. A bit surprised, having not been what I pictured, I was still optimistic. Then I started having second thoughts, I just wasn't getting the right vibe, but we forged on anyway.

In order to understand our confusion, maybe you have to be like us. We are creatures of comfort and habit. I like when I know what to expect, to an extent, but am also challenged.

The first instructor we worked with upon starting this adventure back in October is tried and true, you can always expect good music and a great work out. She is nicknamed "The Sargeant" for good reason. Her drills force you to push yourself and her encouragement doesn't waver. She was the first person we met at the gym, so clearly she will always hold a special place, lol. Her free weight class is actually my favorite because it forces me to train my flabby upper body while gaining leg strength from the bike. I love to challenge myself in her jumps and her killer hills. I drip with sweat and I leave with a smile every time! It's particularly my favorite when there is towel waving, whistle blowing, and a lot of "wooing" involved lol! She's a lot of fun and keeps us entertained while dancing throughout the class and yelling "RAPIDO"!

The second instructor we worked with has been mentioned before in this blog, she's a very talented instructor. I could probably give you the entire run down of her routine and each drill that was done to each song each week. Last night Lisa mentioned that she used to play "Rain Over Me" to which I replied, "Yes, during Isolations, BOUNCE IT OUT!" haha. The routine is ingrained in my muscles. We were always given an introduction and a run down about what to expect and she was very attentive to new students joining the class. After detailed instruction on what to expect we would begin:

3 Warm up songs which include the famous "1, 2" rhythm and various sprints in both positions 2 & 3.

A kick ass hill.

Some more 1, 2 & sprints.

Killer jumps from 3 to the saddle.

Another kick ass hill.

Running back to back to back.

A recovery song.

Some more killer jumps from 3 to 2.

And an inspirational final song at full speed in 3, ending in a sprint.

You get the idea, sometimes it would vary, but that's the basic gist. I could do this routine in my sleep. There was always something to work towards. I will never forget the FIRST time I got through an entire sprint without stopping before hearing "3, 2, 1 SLOW IT DOWN" and feeling like I could go even further. I loved the routine, the music, the encouragement and the energy. Lisa put it best, Wednesday & Thursday was the bright spot in our otherwise hectic week. Plus there was the fun and friendly instructor, who could certainly be viewed as "mean" because of how far she tried to push each of us, but only had the best intentions in mind for her students and their success. Her dancing in the aisles and telling me this isn't a Zumba class always brought a smile to my face as well as her one liners about not being deaf, Spin not being a ride in the park and her love for the Foo Fighters.

Cut back to last night and our fourth instructor (the third we have worked with is another blog for another day, lol). We start off on a positive, the run down is pretty inspiring because it is a reminder that we can make what we want of this hour. Something along the lines of, "this is your work out, you have to push yourself and your resistance" was said. She then said, "I won't come around or touch your bike because this is your training and you choose what you want to get out of it" to which Lisa responded "winning"... Lisa then explained to me that she was "winning" because she wouldn't be touching our bikes, lol slacker! We also appreciated that she was in amazing shape, this probably means that if we follow her routine we are bound to look awesome too, right? Well wrong, apparently amazing physique also means that you can spin at 1 thousand trillion miles per hour without stopping for hours on end, I am not even exaggerating. The music started off decent, so far she was "A OK" in our books. The first drill, we are told, is going to be a hill of some sort. Push your resistance further and further, she explains. We spend the first song going in and out of 3 and the saddle and pushing the resistance harder each time. I am wondering how this is a warm up, but I am going along just fine and already sweating, which makes me happy.

Then we start with the speed spinning, literally, speed, as in possible drugs. We are bouncing and bobbing and moving in ways I have never attempted on a stationary bike. Carla just spent weeks upon weeks trying to get me to keep my shoulders still, I am finally finding my groove with that, but now I am being told to bop and sway and jut up and down and side to side like some kind of jack in the box! My neck is killing me, my lower back muscles are throbbing, I have no idea what is going on. I turn to Lisa and ask her if it is secretly Maya Rudolph instructing us, this must be a joke, right?! I then realize, I have no idea what is going on! I can't understand her on the mic, it's turned up WAY too high, as is the music and she has an interesting accent. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I try to keep up. We are back in a hill, okay, I can do this. I pushed my resistance probably harder than ever, I'm dripping with sweat, but I can't get my damn heart rate up! The highest I go is around 166, Carla had me up to 186 the week before. I am now frustrated that I can't get it up any higher. Back to the speed spinning, but now we are doing jumps as well? Spin 4 times as fast as u can up, then down, 4 up, 4 down, SERIOUSLY? My legs cannot move like that! So now, my thinking reverts back to what I know. I am thinking "Carla sprints", I am trying to push it but I am in so much pain something is not clicking. I can't seem to get control. I finally get my breathing under control, the stitch in my side alleviates and I continue on as fast as I can. We are back to a hill, back to jumps, I seriously am just now watching the other students to see where we are all at and I am trying to keep my eye on Speedy Gonzales up there on the lead bike. Finally, we are in some strange type of jumps and I start doing my own thing. I begin doing jumps from 3 to 2 and hearing "Night of Your Life" in my head. I turned to Lisa, who was struggling as well to see if she notices that I am now doing my own work out. When I get her attention I say one thing "Carla" thinking that will get her to realize that I am doing her 3 to 2 jumps and that she should join me. She has no idea what I am talking about OR doing for that matter and continues on with a frightened look on her face.

We find our way to the final song and I found success in the hill/sprint combo, but I had already made up my mind, this was not going to be for me. Wednesday night Spin, as we knew it, was over. Our cool down was very rushed, and music-less. I also felt horrible for the new girl next to Lisa who had NO idea what had just happened. I imagine her neck must be killing her today bc she was contorting unnaturally throughout the entire class.

The final imagery I left with was of a girl with shoulder length hair who thought it was a wonderful idea to Spin with her hair down. Imagine a mop, attached to the head, with the ends dripping wet. Why on earth would anyone want to keep their hair down for a workout and then leave it sopping wet like that after? I was so confused, I felt like I was on another planet.

After class Lisa and I did our abs and recounted the events of the previous hour. Lisa was pissed, I was hysterically laughing, which pretty much sums us up perfectly. We kept repeating the following, "drugs", "unnatural", "maya rudolph", "mr rogers neighborhood", "was that real life", while completing our ab routine in between bursts of laughter.

So the conclusion I come to is this, not every workout will be perfect for each of us. If you can find what works for you, then great! If not, move on. If something doesn't work for you then try something else. It's all about learning. To be honest, I told Lisa we could work out 7 days per week 2 hours per day but we aren't going to lose a pound faster if we don't focus even more on our diet. All of the pieces are falling into place and it's all about staying flexible and open minded. Plus, it's getting painful to Spin two nights in a row. My idea is to take my awesome "Spin" playlist and make up my own routine (complete with sprints, etc) on whatever piece of cardio equipment I choose to use on any given night. I also need to get back to my running training, I still aspire to run a 5K one day :)

The new routine will probably look something like this:

Monday - Off

Tuesday - Spin w/free weights

Wednesday - Circuit (legs or upper) & Cardio

Thursday - Spin

Friday - Circuit (legs or upper & Cardio)

Saturday OR Sunday (depending on our schedule) - Circuit and/or Cardio

We will see how that works out for us and then reconvene! The Zone (40, 30, 30) begins for us either tomorrow or Saturday depending on when we can get to the store for a few vital ingredients that we are missing for our meals! I will be sure to post our progress with both the new eating and the workout routine! I placed a massive order today with my new favorite website "BodyBuilding.com" for some essential items; Pure Whey Protein, Zone Bars, etc. I also got some free work out socks! Haha, yay! Although Lisa later told me we could have used the "Travel Powder Dispenser" oh well!

Thanks to everyone who is following along, I hope you enjoy our interesting sense of humour when it comes to all of this! I leave you with a photo of how enormous I used to be:

Peace.