Hard to pick a song today, so many inspirations ... but this seems to fit best in describing how it sometimes feels when you're trying to make a life change & walk a new somewhat unfamiliar path:
...I’ll pick you up when you’re down
Be there when no one’s around
When you’re in unfamiliar places
Count on me through life’s changes
I’m in tune with how you feel
Everything bout this is real
When you’re in unfamiliar places
Count on me through life’s changes...
Leona Lewis/Avicii - Collide
Just when you think you have all the answers, you've done the research, you have the plan, things start off with a bang ... you hit a slight road bump that reminds you that you're only human.
Last night was a hell of a night at the gym and that night has kind of carried into the first part of today. I am hoping blogging about it can clear my mind and help me to move out of this funk!
Sunday we had a great work out. Chest & triceps, followed by our own Spinning routine & abs.
Monday was an off day.
Tuesday I decided I may want to get certified to teach Spinning and we had an awesome class that night. Probably the best class since Carla's last.
Wednesday we did a great leg workout and I succeeded at running 1 full mile, coupled with walking, followed by abs.
Cut to Thursday night. Now after working out a few days in a row it's possible that I was just tired. It's possible that I am tired period. I have been riding on a high of the new diet and great workouts, perhaps I am just crashing a bit. I arrive at the gym and it's looking like I may get started by 6:30, bonus! Well one thing leads to another and I'm held up in the locker room and I don't begin my warm up on the arm bike until 6:45, fine. I decided to try out a new back and bicep routine, as I am fairly new to separating my upper body parts in this manner and never paid as much attention to my back and biceps, which are very important to focus on. A strong back leads to a strong core and all that jazz. I had read it is best to start with lat pull downs and I attempted the wide grip for the first time. Moving right along, after 3 sets of wide grip I proceed to do close grip. At this point I am feeling good, I notice my back is stronger than even last week and one of the guys actually started talking to me, so that was nice. He helped me change the bar out on the machine bc I definitely wasn't tall enough to manage that without killing myself. After some lat sets I moved on to seated cable rows ... good work. Time to tackle something new, t-bar rows. So here I am, completely foreign to this machine, having only seen one other guy do it once and no one in sight who can help me out. I literally had to change the weights about 4 times before I realized I couldn't successfully lift more than the bar itself. After 3 sets of 12 (struggling to do 6 at a time), I was over my back routine. I attempted some single arm dumbbell rows, rather unsuccessfully. Next was time for biceps ... I did a few new things and definitely was happy that I had tried 9 different work outs for back and biceps as opposed to the only 6 I had done the week before, even if it was a little all over the place.
Time for cardio, which was the complete bust of the night. Cardio has become something that I fiend for. I NEVER liked cardio before. Seriously, when you are over weight cardio is just NOT easy! But it's vital for calorie burnage, sweatage and over all fat burnage. Since trying to become a runner and adopting Spinning into our routine, cardio has become like a drug. When I can't get my proper cardio fix I clearly become very agitated. Wednesday night I had a rough run. I was hocking a lung and my stomach was killing me because I had yogurt for snack before the gym, NEVER AGAIN! My iPod was acting up and sound was only coming out of one side of my ear buds. THEN as I am trying to finish strong, my treadmill just STOPS mid run! Needless to say it was challenging, but I ended up completing what I had set out to do, even if I felt like my mouth was lined with cotton and there were knives in my stomach. Last night, I assume that I'm all set! I had my Zone bar, so my stomach was not full at all. I was chewing gum, so my mouth would stay nice and moist, I had my other iPod, so the music would not fail me. I was pumped for an awesome run... until I hit the treadmill and realized the epic wardrobe fail I had committed on this fine Thursday evening. One, (sorry to get personal) but I was not wearing the proper under-roos. I have really comfy and really amazing New Balance roos that I always wear when I run because they literally do not budge and they wick moisture. Two, the brand new capri compression work out pants that Lisa JUST bought me for Christmas are now FAR too big on me. So here I am, trying my best to push myself to run another mile and my pants are literally SLIDING down on me. I swear if I didn't stop I was going to moon the entire gym. These pants are a month old and completely useless (except maybe for Spin because the saddle will keep them from riding down on me). I was SO MAD! I ended up walking for 10 minutes, but I could barely stand it bc I had to keep hiking my pants up. I then moved over to these old school Precors. They are so weird, the track the foot pedals run on is in the front, so you feel like your kicking your legs out like a weirdo. After 3 minutes on that I was over it.
So now I am having an internal battle with myself, do I stay or do I go? Lisa wasn't able to join me at the gym last night so I figured, well she's not here, so maybe I can go easy on myself? NO! Not allowed! She's smaller than me, I have to kick my butt a little harder. Then I'm like but do I really want to go home alone late? YES! I'll be fine ... I CAN NOT GIVE UP! Since I had already missed Spin class I decided to give the stationary bike a try. The first bike I sat on was broken ... AWESOME! So now I am going back to the newer Precors that I love. I forced myself to do it, I had to have an awesome work out and push myself to finish strong. I could not let this entire cardio routine be a bust. Some amazing songs came on my iPod and I treated it like a Spinning bike. I even counted "1,2" to myself to keep my pace fast. At the appropriate times I would sprint as fast as I could and then I would challenge myself to "run" an entire song. A lot of inspirational thoughts flooded my mind, the songs reminded me of some battles I over came in Spinning class, which of course then made me sad because it was Thursday night and I wasn't where I had been every Thursday for the past few months with my favorite instructor barking in my face for motivation. I had to bark in my own face and find the inner strength to not give up. And I did it, which was of course emotional as well. By the end I had gotten my heart rate up to 85% and I felt good. I decided to do a traditional Spinning stretch cool down routine and "Titanium" came on, which was kind of the perfect ending to the night I had just gone through.
After all that though I had to deal with my biggest pet peeve in the locker room on my way out ... NAKEDNESS! Which I swear is another blog for another day because I have so much disdain for these naked women who think it's okay to just rub lotion on their body parts for hours on end wearing literally nothing. HELLO THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE! AT LEAST PUT ON SOME UNDER GARMENTS PLEASE! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR NAKED ASS!
Just when I thought my night was possibly going to turn around (nakedness anger aside), after all I was on my way to my warm house and my snuggly kitten to enjoy some relaxation and a delicious meal, what could go wrong? I look down at my bag on the Subway and notice that in my rush to get out of the locker room and away from the nakedness as quickly as possible I did not properly close my shaker bottle and now my entire bag is dowsed in Amino Acide drink, AWESOME!
Whatever ... the night ended fine ... except for some weird dreams throughout the night. It's now Friday morning and I made a mistake I knew I should not have made. I need to stop weighing myself every day. The scale is not moving this week the way it did last week and it is really starting to piss me off. Which lead to me having a HORRIBLE morning. Of course now that the scale is not moving I feel gross about myself and nothing feels like it fits right and I just basically want to scream. I just couldn't fathom how I have been working my ass off to NO avail this week. But then I remember that I DID lose 11lbs last week and maybe my body is like HEY WAIT THAT WAS TOO FAST! It was just such a tease. I know I will wake up on Sunday or Monday and weigh myself again and I am sure there will be a loss of some sort, but until then I am nervous that I did something wrong this week. It's not a good feeling, but I guess I can't expect every week to be like the first week. There will be good ones, there will be bad ones, I can't expect everything to go perfectly smoothly ... it's just a matter of accepting that and not letting it get me down for too long.
It's a process, it's a journey, blah blah blah ... some days I just want to be at the finish line already. I have been working at this for so long and I know that I have to be patient since we only just started the diet, but patience is NOT one of my virtues, it's something I have to work on daily. I am going to try to forget about last night and this morning and move on. Today is a gym off day so I'll enjoy the relaxation and give my body a chance to recover and come back strong tomorrow. I can't guarantee I won't weigh myself, because I am obsessed with the results, but I have to accept the outcome if that is the choice I make and not let it bring me down. It has to force me to keep making the proper changes and adjustments to stay on the right track. I have over come some challenges, changing the diet was not even as hard as I imagined it to be (especially on the weekdays), but giving up more than one cup of caffeine a day, not cheating on weekends and at events, making sure I push myself to get to the gym NO less than 4 days, these are all positive changes I have made. My hunger has lessened, I feel better over all, my energy is through the roof, I sleep slightly better, I have to try to look at all of the positives rather than rush the results and beat myself up for a somewhat bad night at the gym. It's all going to come together at some point and the ending will probably be better than I can even imagine, it's just a matter of keeping the faith along the way!
Happy Friday, hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend :)
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